Posted in Christianity today

It was a cold night…the rain wouldn’t stop. All I could think about was him. Even if it’s just to hug him for a few minutes, I thought to myself. I pick up my phone and dial his number. He doesm’t pick. Oh my!  Why is he not picking? Rrring……goes my phone. I check the caller Id and he is the one. How happy I am. I tell him I miss him. He tells me he is coming over. Soon enough he knocks and I open the door for him. I hug him happily. He gives me an innocent kiss. He tries to release me. I hold on much longer. The kiss deepens. Hands roam everywhere. There is no stopping what is about to happen. Lust has taken over. Fibe minutes later we lay on the bed in silence. Tears streaming down my eyes in regret. What have I done? There goes my virginity of 23years in just 5 minutes. But it’s too late. I wish I could reverse the hand of time. I wish I had exercise a little bit of discipline and self- control. I wish I could fix my hymen back. But all are mere wishes now. I live with the guilt alone now. He tells me he loves me. Somehow I can’t shake the feeling off that he is playing me. Is sex evidence of love? He could have helped me by rebuking me? But the deed is done. I can only cross my fingers. This is my story.